Mobile Phone Speakers

Before I begin, I'd just like to make it absolutely clear that I'd like to shoot the person who came up with the idea for these. But when you think about it, who is more stupid, Jnr. Sales Clerk Johnson or the Marketing Director who approved his idea? I like to think the conversation went a little like this:

'Sir, while I was sitting on my sofa watching Big Brother, I had a great Idea. Why don't mobile phones have speakers on them, so people can play whatever music they have on their phones - which is bound to be in a poor quality file format - wherever they go, where there are bound to be other people?'

'Johnson you're a genius! Nobody could possibly be annoyed by this, everyone will be happy! I'm giving you £1b to invest into this, there must be a huge potential market in the huge number of twats who used to walk around with radios on their shoulders, but can't anymore because they'd look like pricks! We'll be seen as liberators of the pricks!'

If only, if only the MD was correct. But God forbid, it did pass to the chavs. One can no longer go anywhere in public without a background noise of incredibly poor quality hip-hop music probably downloaded from Limewire assaulting one's eardrums.

What possesses people to do such a thing? They should at least have the decency to buy an MP3 player, nobody else would then have to listen to their crap all the time.

But then there's another thing. Why do people insist on having a constant personal soundtrack wherever they go? I can understand the attraction of listening to music personally on a journey somewhere, but while you're walking down a high street? You have only yourself to blame if you walk into a lamppost while flicking through 12 pirated Jay-Z albums [actually, I'm not even sure that he's created 12 what he calls 'albums' but whatever, I can't be bothered to check].

So where's the attraction in such a ghastly looking thing dangling from your mobile phone, spewing white noise as you walk along? I can't possibly see one. Maybe it's just me, but I believe this hellish creation was a bad idea.

Personally, I wait 'till I get home to listen to music, in my quiet room, with my highest-possible-quality-music on my excellent speakers, rather than walking down a miserable high street holding my phone out in front of me while it churns out diabolical sounding music and annoys anyone who passes within a square mile of myself (because you must have it that loud, blud).