Health and Safety

Ever since health and safety has become a business opportunity, it's become progressively more over the top. Regulations have become so strict in some cases that you are no longer allowed to replace the tank on a water cooler, instead you must wait until somebody who has been taught how to lift a water tank safely arrives and does it for you, because if they didn't, you would definitely break your spine if you tried to lift the tank.

Who are these people taught by? The all powerful master of water cooler tanks?

With all these regulations in place, it's a wonder that accidents still happen. Every few years rivers in the UK break their banks and flood entire areas and cause huge amounts of damage. Where were the health and safety checks for areas with a flood risk? The inspectors were probably looking around tower blocks in London winging about hazard assessment and faulty supply cables while their wives are in bed with postmen.

So, when health and safety checks are required and are perfectly reasonable, no attention is paid, and as a result of this, much more severe accidents happen than the ones which are being prevented constantly by teams of health-Nazis who get in the way of busy people while they are at work.

Nobody cares about petty injuries apart from the health and safety squad; if something breaks and a minor injury is caused, nobody usually minds. But if their house is flooded by several thousand tonnes of water and waste, usually they care.

Attention needs to be paid where attention is required, not where the most amount of money is offered. Preventing towns being flooded is more important than ensuring Percy doesn't staple his tongue to the printer again. So here's a message to any health and safety enforcers out there: pull your finger out and do your work where it's bloody required.